To that woman I was becoming friends with who disappeared, dating apps, and ... My Honest Face

 

So this is a special post... 

I tried a dating app... and my experience was bad, except for the one exception of someone I really connected with. Yet Bad regarding the app.....Oh for so many reasons which I will go over after my share... yet first I have something important I want to say and its also a shout out to a person I met who in a sense gave me hope. 

I met someone in Seattle through a dating app (ya I gave one a try)

Their name Meghan. She has her PHD degree, lives a few hours from me, exceptional human being. We are practically the same age, same interests, educated, see eye to eye on politics, religion, same career backgrounds. A lot of the same likes, hobbies, interests. We just have a lot in common.

They had one picture that I got to see of them and I found them attractive. Thinking...'ok... so this is going well.'

We interacted for days, mornings and evenings...  in chat, going back and forth asking questions and giving answers and all that early dating stuff...

They knew that I wanted long term (was my third bullet point in my introduction) and I knew they were and are planning to move far away. So we were going to be friends, which to be real, I would be enriched and lucky to have a friend like this. I found them to be amazing, cool, and the type of wing woman, friend I badly need in my life.

Also to be real...Yet...as I got to know her, I became EXTREMELY attracted to them. As a Virgo and recovering co-dependent I had to really look hard at what was happening. Because... I wasn't going to allow myself to be co-dependent or get into a situation like that again and to be real I want my autonomy and my freedoms, I want my light to shine as bright as possible. I won't marry again, I would partner up, and share companionship, a bed, and a life with someone, I would love someone again but in a freedom based way if that makes sense?

So...what happened? 

I was REALLY attracted to them, thought we hit it off, connected on so many levels I thought here is my person. I could see us being this power couple, awesome, inclusive, complementing, in harmony. Someone whom I could illuminate with my light and they illuminate me too. And then they disappeared. I was ghosted/blocked? Was I being cat phished? I’m not sure what happened. 

There was a concern they didn't even really exist, a facade, a scam, a cat phish, and I was being tricked and so....I asked them for more evidence they were legit. Part of this and I didn't want to share with them was because as I started using the app and interacting with them. someone was trying to hack several of my accounts. I won't go into details, but I knew.  

So... To be real… I wish they would have given an explanation. I can handle blunt, honesty and all that. I tried reaching out… but I can’t find them. I found multiple fingerprints of what looks to be this person on the internet... but all leads had no way to contact them. no phone number, no email. LOL...so dead ends. I mean they could be a cat phisher... its still unclear

Meghan if you are real, if you do read this.. .post a comment on this blog it will be private to me or, send me an email to that email I gave you.

 

ok now about the dating app.. Almost ALL Dating apps have been bought and or are owned by the SAME COMPANY "Match Group" 

and I found MUCH wrong with them, and when I talked about it on reddit I found those out there in the community agree with me. They are terrible for many reasons

1 - First there is nothing noble about these apps..its all about the money. Not only do you have to buy the account, every feature is a limited duration "Buff" you want more visibility that's extra $$$  , you want to "Super like" to get seen that's extra $$$, you want to promote your profile so you can be seen that's extra $$$ , it goes on and on and on

2 - Distance from you setting. Regardless of what distance you set, you will get International dating feed. They force a list of international people that you can browse. Sigh... I don't want this and I certainly don't want them seeing my profile

3 - you only get a "stack" of so many people you can see per day. They are controlling the pool of visible dating candidates, this goes back to the monetization and limited Buy it, buffs. 

 4 - Constant pop ups trying to get you to buy a buff, or spend more money. This is with me already signed up at their premium tier level WTF. I was still getting all these notices AND still was required to buy buffs if I wanted more accessibility... WOW.. just F@##% Wow... these app people are @#$%^% terrible IMO.

5 - The filtering and setting of preferences is just a bad UI experience. its clunky, confusing and doesn't make sense. Took me a lot of playing with settings (many deeply hidden) to get it to work

6- if you reset the apps settings because something is wrong, YOU WILL LOOSE YOUR CURRENT IN PROGRESS CHATS.... POOF...GONE. talking to that person you like? not anymore.... Again terrible user experience

 7 - The old swipe left, swipe right routine. This sucks. Period, its stupid, bad design and should go away. I mean what was wrong with just a simnple page of tiles of photos and names. or a few different views where you could just see candidates? the Swipe left/right is awful... once you swipe left you can NO LONGER see that person, EVER. oh wait..there is a buff for that... that's extra $$$... or you have to reset your app!!!! to get them back. garbage. just garbage.

8 - Using this app made me feel dirty, a commodity, worthless, match group is treating people, their feelings, who they are... as a product.  

9 - Cat PHISHING and Scammers. I am sure that the attempted hacks on my other personal accounts was because I was using this app. so there is that...bad people using it to get intel, to further an attack. uggg...  The app is supposed to provide security, anonymity, and verification/vetting. It doesn't IMO. I'm sure because international people can see me (like I can see them) that I become a nice target. Thanks for that, Match Group.

What did I learn.. these dating apps suck..and suck hard. they are indifferent, greedy, dirty and ripe with control and indignity. They are not secure, safe and they are designed to farm you of all your money. 

So.......what does a lonely person do that wants to find someone? 

I think they only way I will find my person will be through organic means. old school. getting out, being seen, social, and letting people get to know me if I can. I wish the apps were diff. I am going to try a couple of other non "Match Group" to see if they are better, but that's where I'm at with them. 

I am not a product I'm a person with feelings.

and now a song ... Inhaler - "My Honest Face" 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAP4B1G-SWk&list=RDdAP4B1G-SWk&start_radio=1'

 

EDIT 9/30/2025. I found this video that also shows why dating apps SUCK so bad for many. Do watch it. Its about why men have such bad luck with these apps but IMO it applies not just to men but Men and LGBTQ people too. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3lypVnJ0HM