Transgender Liberty

  Its Christmas Eve, one year ago I was married (unhappily), my grown kids were visiting and we were making pizzas (yearly tradition). This year I'm alone on XMAS eve, 2 of my kids are working tonight, and the 3rd is spending tonight at his fiancees families. And my Ex is with her new boyfriend. A lot has changed in a year. So I want to talk about that a little and how it ties into living authentically.  First a Quote. There is a character in the 'Expanse' book series named Miller, and he is about to do something brave and possibly a one way ticket, and he is talking to another character who  says something along the lines of 'you are risking your life' and asking him to consider options, and he says "Life IS risk." OK the stage is set... Let me share a few odds and ends and then I'll try to tie this all together.   A week ago I had my first surgery; Thyroid Reduction Chondrolaryngoplasty, also known as Tracheal Shave Surgery, I was excited because it ...

 There is an idea in Quantum physics called superposition. The idea is that any particle can be in many different states.  The state could be DNE, state could be On, Off, and weirdly...both on and off.  Nobel prizes were given this year in physics for discoveries that pretty much affirm that this is happening in our universe.  Back when I was in college I remember taking a computer science course at the University of Oregon and the professor, who I really liked, was talking about  Schrodinger's cat, which is a famous analogy of this very idea. The idea is.. there is a box and you can't see in the box. In the box there is cat, and either its alive, or its dead (I know a bit morbid), based on the state of a radioactive element in the box. BUT... you don't know, and the state of the cat as a consequence is undetermined, UNTIL you look. at that moment it resolves to one or the other.  Now... this is some pretty crazy stuff right? not really.   When I ...

  Aristotle said that nature abhors a vacuum and he wasn't wrong. I was lucky enough to grow up in the northwest, where nature is still wild. We have massive forests here and the people who live here, love them, we steward our forests and govern them too. We recognize the importance of this natural resource and we protect it where we can. Its not perfect here, but I think anyone you ask who lives here would agree that our trees and forests are important to our well being. The ecosystem of a forest is diverse and resilient and silent. And one of the main stars of that ecosystem is the tree. Standing tall, strong, quiet, and alone amongst many.     So What can we learn from a tree that can be applied to our lives? What I cover next I believe can be applied to all peoples lives but because I'm transgender and this is a transgender blog, I'm going to emphasize a bit more on how trees related to being transgender, yet I think everyone who reads this can get something from...

 For me 2025 has been in my top 4 worst times of my life.  Between The United States election and bad decision making on who our leaders should be (rise of Nazi-like fascism in the republican party). Our citizens voting a smoke and mirrors, snake oil salesman and felon, who hung out with the likes of Jeffrey Epstein(Mr Trump) back into office. From SCOTUS no longer being something I trust. To eroding Civil Rights, to AI and corporate greed. To the rich (zuckerberg, bezos, musk, trump family) and many 1% rich avoiding paying any income taxes completely because of our tax laws favor the rich. To the news media becoming a monopoly(see my other posts on this). To many of our leadership in congress and the senate being polarized and NOT acting with moral and ethical integrity towards all our people.  To daylight savings time...which IMO needs to go.  To long dark, cold nights. To all my personal life challenges. To my ex and I deciding to divorce one day after xmas last ...

More than ever in my life I'm trying to find peace. Get to Safe. Feel safe, and in this work I'm doing therapy and trying to find answers. One item I am dealing with is deep deep resentment. Searching for answers and looking for ways to break it down and digest it I found a post from another person dealing with resentment who said "Resentment is the poison you drink everyday hoping the other person will die"  First I don't want anyone to die, yet this carries truth. I think for me the "Hoping the other prerson will die" is probably more like "Resentment is the poison you drink everyday trying to heal the rage, and anger and hurt you feel that was caused by that other persons actions" <SNIP .. a whole lot of deleted resentment evidence here> I deleted 3 paragraphs of me sharing why I resent. It doesn't need to be shared. needless to say I carry a lot of resentment.   So what do we do.... how do we heal ourselves?  I don't have all ...